Are you an Emotional Bitch?
Even when smiling, we could be debating with our emotional bitch.
Many of my readers have inquired about the name. Why Emotional Bitch? It's funny because when I tell men the name, they don't know what to make of it, and they tend to lean back haha! But women, in general, we love it! And I believe the reason why we love the name so much is because we know, we all know we have an emotional bitch, it's part of our alter ego, we just don't talk about it.
Most likely, our emotional bitch appears when we are angry, sad, depressed, anxious or jealous, basically when we are facing uncomfortable emotions. Perhaps you have an encounter with your EB on a daily basis, maybe every once in a while, or rarely, the question is, do you know what to do when she shows up?
The truth is, no one teaches us how to deal with emotions, and that's why they're still taboo. We think we cannot be 100% honest about the way we feel because we might end up being judged -by partner, friends, family, colleagues-, as weak, non-appreciative, sensitive, overreactive, emotional or even bitchy.
I vividly remember how throughout, my middle and late 20's, I was an emotional mess. I had a toxic relationship, which I had no idea how to leave behind. I lived in a constant state of depression and anxiety. If I were to express how I felt to my ex-boyfriend, he would use that opportunity to call me crazy, emotional, or if I was angry, a bitch. And, that would make me even more furious — entering a never-ending cycle of toxicity.
There was this particular occasion when my ex was flirting with another woman; she was at the same dinner table as we were. I whispered into his ear, "I know what you are doing". He looked at me, and without saying anything, he nodded and gave me the "you are acting crazy" look. So I decided not to act on it, out of fear of being labelled once more. Twenty minutes later, my emotional bitch took over. I stood up, yelled at him, -no one knew what was happening-, so I made a fool of myself in front of 20 people and left the restaurant. I was the one who ended up being ashamed of my behaviour when I did nothing wrong -EXCEPT- allowing my EB to take over.
You can be facing any problem: The sickness of someone you love, your illness, your partners cheating habit, feeling trapped in a relationship, being with an abusive man, you have no friends, you found out you are gay, you cannot get pregnant, you can't find love, you lost your job. Whatever it is, I can tell you; you can decide how to feel about it.
I know it's difficult to digest, but…
“what we feel is a choice!”
To answer the main question, on what to do when your EB shows up? You stop. You analyze what you are thinking, and not until you have identified what emotion your thought is generating, you don't react. With the blog, upcoming book, podcast and interview program, we will talk about how to do it, how not to let our Emotional Bitch take over our lives, relationships, jobs and family.
All I want is, for us women to talk freely about how we feel, moreover inspire one and other to overcome hardship, and why not to laugh a little on the way.
With much love,
Rebeka.