Autosabotagge
Why we sometimes take the wrong path, when the one we are in is amazing? Photo: Clem Onojeghuo
It's been a while since I have written something for the blog, and I'm sorry for it. There hasn't been one reason in particular, but many. Sometimes life hits you with unexpected news, good and bad, and what defines us is how we react to that news. That's what makes us who we are.
The good news is the Emotional Bitch book is ready to be published, and it will be ready for you this week. Another good news is we have been invited to give a Ted Talk, which you will be able to see after Dec. 7th. The Emotional Bitch platform is growing, and there might also be a TV show, and a podcast, so stay tuned for that.
On the other hand, as I said, there has been bad news too. Someone very dear to me hit rock bottom. And I don't necessarily want to say who or how, so I'm just going to say this. It breaks my heart to see her destroy herself. She's young, gorgeous, with the biggest heart, lovely, but to her, that's not enough. Every once in a while, she needs to have cocaine. Every time she's at the peak of happiness (everything is working with her husband, her career is going well, her kids are doing great), she decides to destroy herself by having a snort -which she believes she can control-. Still, one leads to the next, and before she knows it, she's consuming daily, multiple times per day. Then the expected happens, she hits rock bottom, the public shame is too big now, and that's when she decides to stop.
Why do we sabotage our own happiness? My self included. It all begins with the incapacity of controlling uncomfortable emotions.
That little voice that starts talking to you when you are the most vulnerable, in your alone time. That low voice that ends up making you feel sad, anxious, or depressed.
I didn't do drugs, but I used to be very pessimistic at times. When everything was going great, I began to think negatively. I thought everything would go south before I have the opportunity to count to 10. Sometimes when I was driving, I thought I would have a terrible accident, I would end up dead. Or I would receive word that something happened to someone I love. I would get fired because I'm not good enough, and so on.
Think about it, every time you are anxious or depressed, you are thinking about something that is making you feel that way, it's the thought that triggers the emotion. Perhaps, something that happened in the past or the idea of what might happen in the future. Sometimes we are so filled with judgment and self-criticism that we cannot possibly receive our inner abundance.
The first thing to stop sabotaging yourself is to embrace your own worthiness. You deserve to be happy, even if you have pain or made mistakes in the past. That is the past. For your inner saboteur to bring you down, you need to be open to sabotage. When you find yourself listening to that destructive side of you, don't listen to it. Shut the thought by repeating to yourself.
I deserve to be happy.
I am worthy of life.
I deserve joy.
And now believe you do deserve it.
With love,
Rebeka.