You have the power to avoid future pain.

Underneath the “happy” layer, theres an “evident” layer of pain. Pic by: Luis Galvez

This past weekend I attended a gorgeous wedding in Miami. Everything seemed like a dream, but, during the rehearsal dinner, there was a woman around her 40's who was pretty loud, by 10pm she had already had one too many. After dinner, I bumped to her in the bathroom, and by then she could hardly speak or stand. I offered my help, in exchange, she just waved me off and continue walking anchoring herself to the wall.

Next day, before the ceremony, I bumped into her in the lobby, I noticed one of her nails was bleeding, so I asked if she was OK, again if she needed help. She looked at me smiled and said: "I'm OK, I just had a little fall last night, and I lost a couple of nails" -acrylic nails-, and started to laugh. I smiled with her, not knowing really what to do or say.

The ceremony took place, pictures, dinner, and already into the night she came to my table an sat next to me. Again, I knew something was off, so I asked if she needed something, but she could hardly talk.

"Are you married?" I asked. Glancing her arm from left to right in front of my face, she said: "No, I'm divorced."

"Ahh well, if you are happier that way?...." I was only trying to make conversation...

"I'm not happy, but I'm rich", she replied.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear. If you don't mind me asking why did you get a divorce?" "Guess...!? He cheated on me, and you know how I found out? The staff told me."

"Again, I'm sorry to hear. Are you OK?" I insisted.

"Oh, yes, I am very happy." She replied while rocking her body from one side to the other. Unfortunately, she had a very tight dress with a very pronounced cleavage and a low back. Her boobs were almost popping out of the dress, and her bottom was about to show.

I knew she wasn't happy, but I had to go with it, she was obviously feeling judged.

"Do you have kids?"

"Yes, one boy..."

"That's great!" I was trying to shift the conversation onto a positive note. A task that seemed impossible at hand, "how old is he?" I asked.

"Thirteen" She replied.

"I'm sure he's a lovely boy, you should be happy!"

"Yes, but my ex is a terrible father". He was supposed to take care of him this weekend, and he cancelled on the very last minute.

"Ohh that's awful," I said, I could see and feel her pain.

"Anyway at least he paid for all of this..."

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"This", she pointed her lips, nose, boobs, wrist, and bottom.

I went quiet for a sec…

"Well, I'm sure you had good years with him?"

"Not really, he's 20 years older than me. He cheated on me multiple times, and now he controls my life."

"What do you mean with he controls your life?"

"He does!"

Although she was clearly intoxicated, a voice inside her told her to stop right there! I didn't want to make her feel more uncomfortable, so I inquired about another possible love story.

"Do you have a boyfriend? New husband?"

"No! That's what I'm telling you! He controls my life. You are not listening!" She was annoyed by now.

"I am listening. Sorry!"

"You are not listening, HE CONTROLS MY LIFE. He gives me 100k a month, I live in a 10 million dollar apartment, but I was young when I married him, I signed a prenup. So, if I'm ever in another relationship or decide to get married, I will lose everything."

As soon as she finished that sentence, a friend of hers took her to bed. Her pain was so deep that even writing this post makes me feel her ache all over again.

I don't know the reasons why she decided to marry this man in the first place, love perhaps. What we do know is that she knew he was a cheater, and she fooled herself believing he was going to change for her.

Understanding what you want in a deeper emotional level will always help you make the right decisions. If she couldn't leave with a lady's man, why did she pick him? Fooling ourselves in the present will only bring turmoil in the future.

Know yourself, if you cannot be open to yourself, you will never leave at peace. Understand your decisions and why are you taking them in the first place. If you know the answer, life will not get you off guard.