A note to my younger self...
And also to all women out there, who have turned their pain into strength and fear into courage.
It will happen. Don't worry too much, only enough to push yourself, but not to the point you become paralysed. Don't listen to that voice in the back of your mind called fear. Don't be anxious about what may or may not happen. You are good enough.
You have gone through a lot, I know. You have grown on your own, and into your own, I know. I also know that the people you love the most have let you down. I know you are lonely, and that you spend most of your energy trying to appear strong instead of vulnerable.
Pay attention to the world around you, listen to the people that are there for you, admit you are hurt, stop competing as you have no competitors next to you, you don't have to know it all. You have to start learning how to love yourself before loving others.
Running away is what you do best, it has been your way to deal with problems, some of your friends will drink, smoke, have sex, lie, but you, you love to run without looking back. But one day you will be brave enough to look back, and instead of looking back at the chaos, you will look back to a vision of peace. You will be proud of the steps you have taken.
You are about to face one of the biggest challenges in your life. You will fall for a man that is not right for you. Although he will teach you many things that will become handy in life, that knowledge will come at a high cost. You will doubt yourself, your morals, values, you will be publicly shamed, but guess what, that too shall pass, just remember to be honest and true to yourself, if you are you will find the right path when lost.
“A woman, she is born with the power to save and love, her existence is based on the truthfulness in her eyes.”
I also know you dream big, but don't let those dreams make you feel unique, you will get to where you want to be. You need to be tenacious regarding your goals, and never, never lose sight of them, no matter how many times people insist on how those particular dreams are difficult to accomplish. And if for any reason you happen not to see clearly at times, the answer lies within, connect with yourself to your heart and let your gut guide you.
And, if you wonder if you'll meet the love of your life? The answer is yes. Not any time soon but you will. You need to be ready to notice it's there and give the relationship the value it deserves. So don't rush through life; learn, find yourself, grow stronger, gain wisdom and remember.... everything shall pass, good and bad; in the end, most of the times we only remember the bad, so live the good to the fullest when it's unwrapping before your eyes.