This past week I had -what I consider- a breakthrough in my career. As part of my job, I had to obtain an exclusive with someone pretty important. For the past two years, I had been seeking for that interview. When I finally convinced her and told my bosses it was a "go" while the excitement ran through my veins, also another thought hit me. What if I'm not good enough? What if I f*ck it up? Interviewing people is one of the things that I love to do the most, and that's why I fear it the most, I fear to fail at what I love the most. Read: "What we want the most is what we fear the most".

At the end of the day it worked out, everything ran smoothly and the interview was a success, could've I done a better job? Absolutely! We can always do better, and most likely if I wasn't wasting energy in my doubtful self, that energy could have been put somewhere else. Preparation perhaps.

The idea that we are a certain age, and we have to already have achieved a,b or c is what's draining our energy as a society. We allow society to dictate or life: "You're 32 you should have a kid soon", or even worse, self-inflicted tension: I should have a bigger house, a better car, a better position in the company, all those thoughts can get to us at one point. That idea of who "should I be" was the backbone of the fear that made me think I was not good enough in the first place.

I am Rebeka Smyth, I am far from perfect, I'm just a journalist and writer with tons of dreams ahead. If I fulfill them or not, is not only up to me, is up to the circumstances as well, but my responsibility is, to be ready for when these circumstances present themselves. My job is to keep exerting effort every day to be better, a better writer, a better journalist, a better interviewer, a better partner, a better sister, a better daughter and a better friend. And for today I am brave enough to say that I am happy with who I am, with the not too successful journalist, with the not too beautiful woman, with the not too good of an interviewer, with the average writer, that's who I am, and every day I'll try and be better.